A rue for you, a rue for me
by Ophelia has drowned
Summary: Sometimes, you aren't meant to have love stories. Sometimes, they are meant to be a tragedy.


She always loved Hamlet. She loved how much tragedy had befallen on the man. Crazed and suicidal. Spewing hatred for the women in his life. But who had grown weak knowing that his loved one was gone. His amount of love he had for her -Ophelia- was greater than the sum of love from 40,000 brothers put together.

She loved it.

Hamlet was the same to her as Phantom of the Opera had been to Mrs. Danforth. Her obsession. While she had not gone too obsessed that she had put any actor who played Hamlet into our fridge. But she always made me watch Hamlet when it was in town. And sometimes, we just acted like Hamlet and Ophelia.

I didn't know how closely related we would be to the characters though.

* * *

Kelsi didn't have siblings, she had lived with her father only. A truly loving man, but he was pretty hooked on the idea that I was madly in love with Kelsi. Not that he had been incorrect. I did shower her with love letters, and graced her ears with singing her incomplete compositions that would bloom into masterpieces.

She had told me that she loved the rue flower. I always wondered why. I had known it was the flower that Ophelia had been associated with. For regret and the likes. She hastily told me that it was such a simple flower, with such a sad story. It would be terrible if no one had loved the flower.

I had given her rue flowers on our anniversaries and her birthdays. Although I still didn't like the flower itself.

* * *

Quite recently I had been away on a tour to England, leaving behind my poor Kelsi.

Sharpay had been telling her to forget that I would be with other women -for production, that is- and that she should focus on lighter things. Like composing.

Had I known that her father would die in a short time that I was gone, I would've stayed. And held her close. Had I known how depressed she would become, that her love of music stopped. That she suddenly stopped seeing the colors of her world...I would've stayed.

If only I had known.

* * *

Sharpay had attempted to cheer Kelsi up. I didn't know about this at all. I was away on the tour, though I stayed up until the wee hours just to speak to her. She sounded just the same as I had left her. Happy, cheerful, and a tad mischievous. I didn't worry.

Sharpay finally called me. Web-camed, rather. She had a solemn face, with tears stinging her eyes.

On her bed, I saw that she had a bouquet of flowers. I wouldn't be too alarmed. Zeke had showered her in flowers of all types just to figure out her favorite. Lillies. I would've told him that. But he wanted to be the man to open her heart. And grasp her love in his hands, because he earned it.

But on her bed was rue. Kelsi had given them.

"Here's rue for you! And here's rue for me! They also call it herb of grace." she had said.

Sharpay didn't understand. She never would. She never would have seen how dimly lit her face had been. How her tears marred her face. How she believed that the rue - seemingly fit for Kelsi - was telling her that I was cheating on her.

The same day, she given Zeke rosemary. A sign of remembrance and faithfulness. His everlasting faithfulness and how he never forgot about my sister. Zeke however, saw the meaning.

Kelsi wasn't giving them flowers or herbs. Or even reciting Hamlet, no matter how well she could do it.

Sharpay would always have regrets. But she had given her rue, because it also meant adultery. Sharpay never cheated, but she meant it about me. She was the closest thing to me, the basic carbon DNA sample. But the last meaning. Suffering. Everyone suffered. But I would suffer the most. As well as forever.

Zeke was the man who anyone could count on. A faithful friend, a faithful boyfriend. Who remembered everyone's birthday, on time. With cookies in a box. Delivered. Not a social networking man, he simply remembered.

He simply remembered, because he cared.

Kelsi believed I didn't care.

I do care.

But she can't hear my words anymore.

* * *

Just as I was returning home to bask in the warmth of Kelsi's waiting arms. Sharpay had called me. She was distraught. I could envision that her hair was a mess. Her hair sticking to her face, as Zeke held her close.

I knew what had happened.

She was gone...

Kelsi was gone. Having left all of her pain, regrets, and eternal suffering. With her father dead, and a husband who seemingly was cheating on her - in her mind- . There was no one left for her. So she cut herself off.

That's not how a love story goes.

That's how tragedies end.

* * *

Sharpay, Zeke, and Kelsi spent time together camping. Surprisingly, Sharpay had relished the idea. Kelsi, having grown tired and jealous of Sharpay and Zeke's growing love in front of her eyes, went for a walk. A walk that ended too soon.

Zeke snapped out of it, as he heard another camper scream in terror. Instinctively rushing out to the area of the scream, his face paled.

The police had arrived and took pictures and measurements.

Sharpay had just arrived. She took the whole scene in. And didn't breathe.

"She looked just like an angel, Ry." Sharpay whispered almost inaudibly. Her tears choked her voice as she continued. "Just like your wedding day."

I took a moment to remember the day.

All of our families, friends, and bosses had congratulated us.

I heard no words. I only saw a beauty in a white gown coming to join me on the altar.

She was the very splitting image of an angel. Her beautiful curls brushing past her shoulders. Her veil just hiding the very blush that crept on her cheeks.

The beautiful green and blue soft swirls on her dress that matched her eyes. The flower embed prints on her gown.

As I removed the veil from her face. I knew, I married a gift from the Heavens.

* * *

When I returned home, I had started out her funeral preparations.

My family kept it quiet while I barely shifted around in my life. Sharpay tried to liven up the mood with music and drama. She would never know how badly I wept when she took me to see Hamlet.

And I had seen the very image of Kelsi drowning herself, as Ophelia died. The actor looked nothing like her. But as Hamlet saw her in her grave, I finally realized why Kelsi loved this play so much.

Even in madness and pain. Ophelia always loved Hamlet, and Hamlet loved her. But now they would never be together.

My fingers had gone through pictures of us, together, happy. The years at East High, at Juilliard, and the days that were meant to be our future.

But as I had gone through our music. I had found the last song. A letter, written to me.

* * *

_Ryan,_

_By the time you read this...I will have long passed away. Perhaps not physically, but mentally. Your family, has always been a part of my life. The Evans have picked me up and taken my breathe away. But you, young Evans. Have taken it away the most. I always wanted a relationship like Hamlet and Ophelia, minus all the crazy deaths. But with the amount of longing, and loving even from afar. Even in death._

_Ophelia loved Hamlet even when she was mentally dead. Ryan, I know that you would never cheat on me. I still believe that. But as my mind is slowly melting into a puddle of self regret and madness. I began to stop believing. It's so difficult to see all these happy couples. Aren't we happy? Aren't we? I wish I knew. Hamlet told Laertes that he loved Ophelia more than 40,000 brothers could. But it was not a gesture or a statement meant to Laertes, but to Ophelia. The one he loved, who in death was still an angel. An angel that needed to hear...even from far away...that he loved her. But she would never hear it._

_I would never hear how much you loved me. I would never be able to feel your heart beat again. I am simply dying...rotting alive, even. My father passed away. A part of me has died, I had known this would happen. But I didn't know it would consume the rest of my life._

_If I stayed alive, I would not be able to love you as completely._

_If I stayed alive, I would not be able to hear you._

_If I stayed alive...I would not be able to have you._

_Because you are in the land of living._

_And I am dead._

_I'm sorry Ryan. But when you don't live anymore..._

_You don't hear reasoning._

_So why not... just end it all?_

_But I still love you. Even in death._

_Because that's how our tragedy was meant to end, right?_

_ Kelsi Evans_

Our love wasn't meant to be a love story. It was meant to be a tragedy. A tragedy that we fully intend to live out. And we shall. There won't be uncertainty for me, at least.

* * *

On her funeral day, her friends, our co-workers, my family, and teachers had come. It seemed so sudden that two years ago, a month and a half ago, she was walking down this same church in a beautiful dress, getting married to me.

But a month and a half ago, she drowned. Looking just like an angel.

With my friends giving me consolidating words. I heard none of them, just like Kelsi had not heard any.

Unlike Ophelia, Kelsi was given a ritual, a ceremony for her death.

But there was something that I meant to differentiate between the two women.

In her casket, she lay with flowers beneath her. She looked even like an angel then. I laid her in honeysuckle, forget-me-nots, daisies, hibiscus, red tulips, roses, fidelity. Flowers that she would not care for.

But I knew she would love to be Ophelia, being loved by Hamlet, even in death.

I had a florist made a flower crown made out of rue. Carefully bringing her neck up, I placed the flower crown on her head, and placed her back.

Seeing her in a sea of flowers, while her head was wrapped in her eternal suffering, made me believe she was a fallen angel. Never meant to be in love.

That didn't come true, now did it?

* * *

The Evans family huddled around the cemetery in the cold winter day.

Although clearly frost-bitten, Sharpay had kissed the tombstone she stood at.

"Well Ry, I didn't think you would follow suit... Especially being poisoned."

Zeke wrapped his arms around Sharpay.

"Princess, I think it's time to read Ryan's letter, don't you think?"

The other Baylor smiled sadly as she looked on her parents who nodded wordlessly.

Derby had been sobbing softly, almost as if to not disturb either of the dead children. The children she lost so suddenly. The children who were meant to never return.

* * *

_Dear Kelsi_

_I know you've been dead mentally for several months by now._

_But I love you._

_If Hamlet loved Ophelia more than 40,000 brothers could. Then I love you more than Hamlet ever could._

_No one loves you more than me._

_That's why I followed you._

_So we could suffer eternally forever._

_Just wait for me a little longer, darling._

_Because I just can't wait to see you._

* * *

"Because we still need to say goodbye to the audience. And then the curtains will close. And they'll never find us again." Sharpay ended as she collapsed.

* * *

**A/N: **I haven't been writing on fanfiction for years! So my writing style has definitely changed since… 2010 I believe? Anyhow, I wanted to point out that Ryan dislikes the rue flower despite how Kelsi loves it. She says that it has a sad story and it's unloved, and she wishes that it was loved. This is actually just a straight meaning between Kelsi and Ophelia. Hoping to be loved by someone they truly loved.


End file.
